Day 333: From the mind of a Chihuahua

It never ceases to amaze me how unappreciated I am around here.  I’m an integral part of this family but you guys treat me like I’m a dog.  Hey, in the middle of the night when I have to “go”, do I wake you up?  No!  Because I don’t want to disturb you and I’m just trying to be considerate which is more than I can say for you.  When you guys get out of bed you flip me off my pillow and rearrange the sheets.  How would you like it if someone came in and yank you out of bed and made you go to the bathroom?  And what’s the big deal about pooping in the house?  You guys do it!  I don’t hide in some little room like you.  I’ll take care of business in the middle of the room so you know what you need to clean up.  Hey I could’ve pooped behind the recliner or the large planter.  I would think you’d be a bit more appreciative.  Instead dad starts screaming at me, “BELLE!  Blah blah blaaaah blah blah blah blaaaah Belle blah blah blah blah!”  Honestly, I have no clue what you’re saying but based on that large vain protruding from your forehead I would guess you’re pretty upset about something.  The poop is right there right in the middle of the room so you can find it and take care of it.  Am I supposed to do everything around here?  Look the doggie door is for the dogs.  I don’t see either of you using it so why the hell should I?  It wasn’t me that put the door knob so high up the door so the least you could do is open the door for me.  And if I have to take care of business outside in the snow and cold, the least you could do is clear a path through the snow to a spot under the tree so I can go to bathroom without sticking my butt in the freezing snow.  I’d like to see you guys do that.  And really, after all these years, you’d think that you guys would put my food bowl in the middle of the family room where it belongs.  Why do you think I carry my food from the kitchen to the family room?  You guys do it.  Hey, if it’s good enough for you to eat in the family room, why not me?  And let’s remember, I looked the other way when you brought home those dogs.  Come on, a poodle and a golden lab?  Who does that?  Hey, we were happy once when it was just the three of us and those two moody girls.  That neurotic poodle of yours and that dim-witted golden lab make so much noise over the littlest things.  Honestly how am I supposed to sleep?  They start barking and as a favor to you I let you know that they’re barking and that you need to do something about it.  They’re not my dogs so why should I have to deal with them?  And when someone comes to the door, who lets you know there’s a visitor?  Me!  Again, what thanks do I get?  The two of you yelling at me in some crazy language.  Just speak to me like an adult.  Say “thank you” now and then.  I really wonder about your upbringing.  Sometimes you guys can be so rude.  And Dad, I only sleep on your pillow because I want to keep it warm for you.  All this yelling is so hurtful.  You guys walk around so moody sometimes and all I try to do is show you that you’re loved but you keeping pushing me aside.  I’ve seen you two kiss.  I’m just doing what you guys do.  Hey, if we’re going to make things work around here there needs to be some mutual respect and appreciation.  You guys are lucky to have me because I could easily find another family that would like a loving and helpful member of the family.  Just get rid of those dogs and I think it’ll make us much happier family.