Day 325: The Filter...

So this is day 1 of a couple days of vacation, all leading up to Thanksgiving.  Like many men on their days off, mine was dictated to me by the women in my life.  First there was the beatings this morning at the hands of my trainer.  After that, it was running errands with my wife.  Yeah, you're thinking, "Uh oh, here comes the sarcasm."  Ok, there might be a little but believe it or not I actually like running errands with my wife, except when I'm tired and hungry.  Remember "Mr. Cranky Pants"? 

Running errands is usually pretty fun.  It's rather mindless work which plays right into my wheel house.  Push the cart and pay the bill.  Easy peezy.  Only when my wife asks my opinion on something does it become a stressful endeavor.  Hey, let's be honest here, I can give a spontaneous answer to one of her questions but it will almost always be wrong.  How so you ask?  And how can you screw up a response to a question like "what kind of tissues should we get?"  Trust me, the pitfalls are many and not easily recognizable.  Most married men know this.  It's you single guys that are clueless.  Before you respond to any question one must use "the filter".  All questions, no matter how mundane, are run through the filter.  How does it work?  Simple.  Just turn everything back into a question.  Here's an example...

Without the filter:
Her - "What reading glasses should I get?"
Him - "The blue ones."
BUZZZZZZZZZ!  Ohhhh, sorry, that wasn't the answer we were looking for.  But we do have a parting gift for you, a free copy of "Women are from Venus and Men are Screwed". 
* A side note, giving a wrong answer is one thing.  Saying "I don't care" will pretty much guarantee you a day of wondering why your wife is mad at you. 

With the filter:
Her - "What reading glasses should I get?"
Him - "Well, honey, there are so many wonderful glasses to choose from.  Would these glasses be worn in public or just at home?  Which ones show off your eyes better?  What style do you like?  Do you like the ones that come with a case?  Should you get more than one pair?

DING, DING, DING!!  Perfect!  No matter what the selection, you won't be held liable for a bad choice of glasses because you didn't make the selection.  Now you probably think I'm being all insensitive but on the contrary.  Remember guys, women really don't want the answer, they just want you to be engaged in the conversation.  When you think about it no one really wants to be told what's what.  And when it comes to having a successful marriage there is only one thing you need to know....

Happy wife, happy life.