You've seen those phenomenal athletes that stayed in the league a few years more than they should've, putting a slight tarnish on their otherwise stellar career. But as time goes by you forget Joe or Brent's journeyman years and just remember their glory years in San Francisco and Green Bay. I saw my grandfather just days before he died, lying there in his hospital bed, a shell of the man he use to be. We had our run-ins from time to time which included getting hit when I was a teenager but I can tell you honestly that when I think of him now I remember him taking me on errands around San Francisco, sitting with him in his office watching "Sports Challenge" or as a child how he'd lift me up by my belt and swing me around. He was a great man in many respects but like the rest of us had his fair share of flaws. The point being, no matter how they finished their careers or how they crossed the finish line of life, the things that made them great are the things I choose to remember.
Today we're in the midst of another family drama where lines have been drawn by those who seek not the greater good of the family but to ensure their place in the hierarchy of inheritance. The unfortunate and sad part of this is the inability of those who should step up and do what's right are lacking the courage to do so. I understand it's mostly because some folks don't like confrontation but for all of you that say you're non-confrontational, your actions and inaction are the source of confrontation, especially for those around you. To say you're non-confrontational is in many ways admitting you're a selfish person. You create an environment of unrest, putting the rest of us in a position of having to quell the emotional uprisings that you've created. I'm not saying we all need to be bullies but we need to understand that sometimes life requires us to step into the ring and fight for what is right. Doesn't mean we have to fight dirty but we need to struggle sometimes to ensure that we fight for truth and integrity and sometimes that means fighting for those unable or unwilling to do so for themselves.
I've had my fair share of struggles with people throughout my life, some more vicious than others but of all those one-time adversaries I hold no ill will. Whether it's my grandfather, my ex, an old classmate or work colleague, I remember the good in them and enjoy the fond memories created years ago. Hey, there was a reason they were in your life in the first place. As struggles persist, eventually there will come a time when enough is enough. When you've done all you can do, when you've been honest and true to yourself and to those around you, eventually you have to lay down your sword and basically say "goodbye" to the hurt and move on to the loving memories of the past and the promise of tomorrow. It's not saying that you've compromised or conceded the battle. What it means is that you've expressed your true self. You've expressed what you feel is right and no amount of fighting will make any more of a difference. As they say in business, it's a point of diminishing returns. For those combatants, even after their so-called victory, they will continue to fight, fight for anything because within them is an abyss, a black hole within their heart, a fire, if you will, that burns for relief. Perhaps that's the hell our religions speak of, the unquenchable fire that ultimately pulls us into our own abyss. But even for those dark-hearted souls, I still love and appreciate them for who they are and will always cherish the good memories. I just pray that they would step away from the edge.
I choose to remember the good in everyone I've met in my life because everyone, and I mean everyone, has some amount of good in them. We may allow other things to manipulate our personalities and drive our behaviors but deep down there's still that sweet, innocent child in all of us, the one that plays freely, laughs loudly and loves unconditionally. And who doesn't love a child?
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