Day 208: Stumbling out of the blocks...

I know that my biggest problem of late is the way I start each day.  I think it's been the biggest reason as to why I've been in such a funk lately.  I'm not talking about when I start work or even after I pour my first cup of coffee.  I'm talking about the very moment I wake up.  When I open my eyes, look over at the clock and notice I'm up an hour before the alarm goes off.  At that split second I wake, a torrent of thoughts race through my head.  Usually they center around two major topics - work and finances.  To be honest I don't think they just pop in there.  I think they've taken up permanent residence in my head and they're there to greet me at the beginning of each new day.

So before the first minute has past, I'm indulging in a breakfast of anxiety and depression.  This isn't a rant about poor pitiful me.  It's a "wake up and smell the coffee, A-hole!"  With my head so far up my ass it's no wonder my thoughts stink.  What I really need to do each morning is place a word in my head and focus on that.  The one word that would most benefit me now is "gratitude".  I get so wrapped up in the crap that comes my way that I completely overlook all the good that's in my life. 

I've been up since just before 2:00 this morning so I've had a lot of time to think about this.  I went out again in hopes of taking more (better) star photographs.  So as you know I'm already in a sour mood.  The fact I had a hard time finding a spot that wasn't flooded with ambient light and there was a single cluster of clouds that conveniently covered the Milky Way pretty much fed my pissy disposition.  I really didn't get the shots I wanted.  Nothing seemed to work right.  But when I got home I will say I was pleasantly surprised by the results.  Certainly nothing worth showing off but by accident I caught a shooting star which I thought was pretty cool.  Still have so much more to learn and I definitely need lots of practice but it wasn't a total loss.  Even though I started out the morning full of piss and vinegar things actually got better in a short period of time.  I guess I just need to show a little more faith, be a little more patient and above all, be a LOT more grateful for all that I have.