Friday, June 15, 2012

Day 167: Coming storm...

Sorry, gang.  I have to admit I've been a bit distracted this week and it's just gotten worse as this race approaches tomorrow.  It's been a pretty busy, hectic week with work, travel and the thought of this impending challenge.  I've been all over the place mentally, one minute feeling I'll nail this race and other times feeling absolute terror that I've gotten myself into something too big for me.  Well it's too late to worry about all that now.  I just tell myself that 24 hours from now it'll all be over, for better or worse.  Not trying entertain negative energy but it's a safe bet I won't sleep well tonight.  Twice this week I woke up just after 3:00 AM and couldn't go back to sleep.  I just want this to be over.  I'm to the point that I'm just mad as frickin' hell.  The one thing that I truly hate in life, and I'm using the word "hate" here, is being afraid.  It's a sickening, defenseless feeling and I HATE it.  Guess the one thing I've had going for me all these years is that I can usually turn that fear into hate pretty quickly and it's the power of that hate that has fueled me through many obstacles in life.  I'm not saying it's a good thing and probably to some degree it's not healthy but it is what it is and I can't change the path I'm on now.  We'll see how tomorrow plays out.  I place my faith in God and the abilities He's given me. 

As Yoda once said, "Do, or do not.  There is no try." 

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