Day 166: Bullies...

The other day I came across an article in USA Today that really struck a chord with me. It was entitled “Bullies” and it went on to discuss the proliferation of bullying that is going on in our schools today and more disconcerting, the increasing number of suicides by the young victims who feel they have no recourse.  I have to admit my first thought after reading this article was “where was the victim’s parents in all this?” I tell you I can't begin to imagine the pain and suffering those families have had to endure when their child takes their own life. But my point is, how did this child get to the stage in their life that they felt suicide was the only option available to them? And let me be frank here, suicide is quitting, plain and simple. It's not a judgment.  It's just a fact I subscribe.  So, when did this child learn to be a quitter?  Well, I'll tell you...

We've coached, encouraged and rewarded children to be victims.  Parents today seemed more concerned about enrolling little Johnny into the School for the Gifted Gay Basket Weavers rather than the School of Hard Knocks.  With parents coddling their young, eliminating the fundamentals of competition in sports and school, endorsing the “no child left behind” philosophy, all of this with the intent of raising a young adult that will attain some level of self-esteem, has actually done quite the opposite by turning these youngsters into weak minded, weak spirited individuals with a “Kick Me” sign attached to their backs.

Certainly the bullies are getting more severe in their terror campaigns. Hell, even parents are getting into the act. Remember the mom who created a bogus Facebook account just to harass a girl in the neighborhood?  Those people need to be brought to justice and it needs to be swift and harsh. I’m not sure sensitivity training is the answer. You can’t legislate how someone thinks or feels but you certainly can make their life miserable. If only our legal system had the courage to put the screws to these monsters.

But the last and best defense against a bully is what’s inside that victim. As I’ve alluded to above, we’ve spent the better part of the last 20 plus years teaching our children to be victims. It’s time we went “Old School” and started teaching our kids how to stand up for themselves, to have REAL confidence and not look for someone to protect them. Folks, you HAVE to take those training wheels off your kids. I’m not saying you need to endanger their lives but you certainly need to put them in situations where they will have to struggle and possibly fail. The true measure of someone’s character is developed and displayed in the way they deal with adversity. This isn't something you try to discover as you walk into your freshman class in high school. This goes all the way back to learning to get back on the bike after falling, overcoming the fear of the jungle gym or that creepy attic, not making the team, failing a test, or being teased.

Children need to learn that it's ok to be scared and that failure IS a possibility but it's incumbent upon them to draw on that inner strength that EVERY human being has.  The only difference between those that suffer and endure and those that suffer and quit is the early experience gained from hardship and struggle.  To take a line from another of my favorite movies, "A League of Their Own", when Tom Hanks describes the virtue of baseball, "...it's the hard that makes it great."  If life didn't include struggle, how could you truly enjoy it's magnificence?