Well, I was in a pretty foul mood yesterday and for all the wrong reasons. Both of my sports teams lost and lost big. I mean really, why the hell should I care?
I have to admit it's a bit embarrassing even to admit I have this little hang up but like they say in AA, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Where all this angst comes from I'm not really sure. Perhaps it's from my youth. No, this isn't an attempt to blame my parents for anything. For several generations sports has been woven into the fabric of my family. When they came across the pond back in the 1880s my family has called the Bay Area their home and rooting for the 49ers and the Giants has been an integral part of their lives. As for me, whether it's my need to gain a sense of belonging or what, suffice to say the Niners and Giants have been a part of my persona since I was about eight years old. I suffered and rejoiced over every peak and valley my teams went through. As an Army Brat constantly on the move, I had to endure the ridicule of being a Niner/Giants fan which was especially difficult when my teams were cellar-dwellers. It was great going to college in San Jose when I was surrounded by like-minded fans but those days were short lived. I'm now in Colorado, Donkey Town USA, so there's no talking to these fans. I keep my fan affiliation on the down low. I celebrate and suffer in silence although my wife and dogs would probably disagree.
But to be honest, I really have no business getting too excited over the performance of my teams. Today's athletes are all about the money, at least most are. Ever notice when the camera scans the losing teams bench and half the guys are laughing and joking around? Why not? Sure, they just lost 26-3 but they're still getting paid more in that one week than most folks get paid in a year. Championships might bring a little extra cash in their wallets but most get paid quite a bit more for individual incentives so as long as they rack up the stats it doesn't really matter who wins or loses. I know that doesn't apply to all players but far more players today are more concerned about paychecks then championships. It's sad, really.
Getting spun up on whether my teams win or lose is pretty ridiculous but it's in my blood and at times I find it hard to cope. As an athlete I always approached my competition in a "Good vs Evil" scenario. Even as a marathoner/triathlete, it was me versus the evil that would try to convince me to let up or quit. To fail or lose would be catastrophic. My problem is that I've applied that same warped rationale towards my favorite sports teams and that's just pathetic if not a little twisted. There are far more important things in our world to focus my energies towards. So jumping ahead in my 12 step program, let me make amends to all those that have had to endure my moods. Ah, recovery, it's a bitch!
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