It got me thinking, though. They sure don't have infomercials similar to that for men. But hey why not? They could make one called "Why Can't I Pee?" It'll be about enlarged prostates and how discomforting it can be not being able to drain the old bladder. Now because us men have zero patience and the attention span of a gnat, it'll have to be some uber-strength medicinal treatment that will allow a guy to pee almost immediately. And of course it'll have to be presented in some competitive format, maybe something like this...
"Tom and Phil both have prostates the size of soft balls and peeing for them is a near impossibility without the help of Mr. Catheter. Now for the past four hours we've been plying both men with pints of beer so they should be ready to burst at any moment. We've given Tom the Mega-Hose prostate reducing pill while Phil has only had beer and an excessive amount of buffalo wings. Now look at that! Tom is peeing like no one's business. He's actually cracked the porcelain urinal and he's not finished! We just set a chemical fire
on the other side of studio and he's put it out with just a quick blast of his man hose.
Now let's check in on Phil. Poor guy, he's still standing there in what can only be described as severe pain with nary a drop of urine to show for his efforts. Profusely sweating, his eyes rolled back in his head and mumbling in some unintelligible language, his teeth are LITERALLY floating. WOOOOO, look out, he's gonna blow!!! BOOOOOSHHHHHH! Wow, good thing we gave ponchos and slickers to our studio audience."
Maybe I could get Gallagher as one of the co-hosts along with Sean Connery. I'm sure they could use the work. And because it'll be a guy commercial, I'll need a bunch of Hooters girls as well. Hey, gotta appeal to the target audience.
So what do you think? Great idea, huh? Pour me a drink and call me Mr. Draper.
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