Day 345: Oh Christmas tree....

Real or fake, what's your preference?  No, I'm not talking boobs.  I'm referring to Christmas trees.  There are certainly plenty of good arguments in favor of either.  I prefer the real thing but I do sometimes envy those folks that have fake trees.  Takes all of five minutes to snap the thing together and you're done.  When it comes to tearing down it's much the same.  Couple twists and folds and it's conveniently buried in the crawl space to hibernate until next Christmas.  But with fake trees you do lose the uniqueness of a new tree each year, plus there's that natural pine smell that swirls around the house and greets you every time you walk through the door. 

I know real trees can be such a hassle.  Driving from lot to lot, trying to find a tree everyone will like.  Haggling and bartering with the tree merchants as if you were on the floor of the Stock Exchange.  Finally finding your tree and then having it mounted on top of your car hoping it doesn't fly off like a deadly projectile as you take a corner at only 25mph.  And let's not forget the sap!  I can't seem to get two pieces of paper to adhere together with Super Glue, an acetylene torch and staples but sap from a tree will cling any object to me until the top four layers of my skin have naturally worn away.  Now when it comes to getting the tree off the SUV and into the house it is definitely a one person job.  If you ever want to get the women folk out of your hair, just ask "Hey, who wants to help me bring the tree in?"  Cue the crickets.  Now once the tree is standing upright after a chorus of colorful metaphors, you will certainly find yourself surrounded by an army of the fairer sex all more than willing to help supervise your tree placement efforts.  "No wait, it's kinda leaning to one side.  There, no, wait, um, it needs to move over a couple more inches to the right.  Good, well, no, yeah, ok it was better back to the left a bit.  Ok, now it's leaning again.  You need to turn it around some, there's a big open spot.  Well, wait, that's... ok, just turn it a little more.  Alright, fine, I think.  Hmm, maybe we should've gotten the Douglas."  Ah, nothing brings out the joyful Christmas spirit more than the indecisiveness of a woman.

But in all seriousness, whether you have a real or fake tree, for me Christmas just wouldn't be the same without some kind of tree adorning your home.  The sparkling lights, the unique and somewhat eclectic ornaments really do bring out the spirit of the season.  Alright, honey, this week let's go get ourselves a nice tannenbaum.