When I was a sophomore playing on the varsity football team in Heidelberg all I wanted was a little playing time to prove I was good, that I could compete with the big guys and that I could contribute to the outcome on the playing field. You know in life we worry about being superstars. I don't mean living the life where we hob knob with celebrities and get chased by paparazzi. We want to be superstars in our own lives. We want to do well at work, in our relationships and our hobbies. It's all about expressing that creative entity that resides within us. Call it our spirit or whatever but it begs to come out. Even the most recluse person wants to demonstrate who they are even if it's only to himself.
There's a fine line between just wanting to express and create who we are and succumbing to vanity that seeks the praise and approval of others. Vanity isn't necessarily a bad thing. In it's purest form it's a sense we have deep down inside our very souls that we matter, that we have a gift, that there's something special and unique about who we are and personally I know that to be God's constant reminder that He loves us. I think that if someone truly felt, from their very essence, that there was no worth to their existence they would just disappear into the faceless crowd never to be seen or heard from again. Folks like that, I think, tend to be the one's that go off quietly and end themselves with no fanfare or breaking news headline. I can't help but feel that in some way these mass killers we've seen this past year know within themselves there's was something special about them but through a life time of unfortunate events never received the acknowledgement of who they are and therefore took their vanity to such hideous lengths that they destroyed the lives of so many.
I know this is just dime store psychology but it's just a perception I have. I'm not looking to protect the criminal. On the contrary, the chick shit killer got off easy taking himself out. I had more "stimulating" ways of dealing with such monsters. I don't think inviting big government into our homes to solve our psycho kid problems is the answer too, unless we want to consider mandating that you have to have a license to have children (said tongue in cheek). Perhaps I'm taking a simplified view but aside from the exceptionally rare cases of genetic predisposition towards violence, I feel that the "village" that's raised these monsters failed. These killers, often described as "disengaged" became that way because no one engaged with them, most especially their parents. We've become a society where the computer, iPhone and XBox are now the babysitters. "As long as Johnny is quiet in his room not disturbing me then all is good in the world. Hey, I've had a rough day, I don't have time to go chit chat with my kid about some homework assignment."
Is it painful at times to listen to your child drone on about some childish topic? You bet, but it's THEIR topic and right now it's the most important thing in the world to them. If you don't acknowledge that then you're putting your child on a path that could potentially lead to a life of depression, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment or worse. That doesn't mean you need to kowtow to them either. Children need to learn that not only what they think matters but that they need to be able to express themselves in a manner that's mature and respectful and that requires discipline, restraint and patience. Unfortunately those things never get taught during "time outs".
There's much talk in the media these days about gun control and other legislative controls but I won't even go into that. Those things are only working to solve symptoms, not problems. Don't worry, I'm not telling you we need to go out and save the world. Just save the little bit of the world that's around you. Showing a little attention, showing a genuine interest in those people, young or old, that fill your lives is a huge first step in saving this world. Come on, we got a reprieve from the Mayans. Let's go out there and express who we are and encourage others to do the same. In life, EVERYONE gets playing time.
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