This particular one is in my top 10. It's from the movie "Mulholland Falls", starring Nick Nolte and a once VERY curvy Jennifer Connelly (damn this obsession with being skinny). Any way, long story short, in a scene where Nolte's character is being pressed to talk about his problems, Nolte says, "You carry your own water." I love that line! I suspect one can interpret it in different ways but I saw it as a personal challenge. A challenge to take responsibility for my actions, thoughts, and feelings and make them mine, no one else. Now I'm not saying we need to bottle up our emotions or avoid sharing the challenges we face. On the contrary, I think it's healthy and necessary to be able to talk about the issues in our lives. The key here is not surrendering ownership. "What should I do?" That's an invitation, a plea, to have someone come in and make a decision for you. And once they've told you what to do, you no longer have responsibility for the outcome of that action. When it doesn't work out, you put the blame on them since, in your mind, it wasn't your choice but someone else.
I have several close friends and family members that I confide in and truly value their opinions. I hope you do as well. My suggestion is to avoid the "what should I do?" question and ask "what do you think?" The whole point of these conversations is to express your feelings and ideas and gather insight from others in order to help you make the best decision possible. Knowing that you've made that decision, that you've set the path you're on, you can take gratification that you are in charge of your life. Ultimately that's what we all want, to be able to set our own destiny.
So carry your own water. But don't be shy about seeking help when you need it.
Photo note - Ok, Sophie didn't carry her own water but she did carry her leash and a rock, for balance. She really does like her backpack.
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