Day 230: The war to end all wars...

Remember this?  The water hose.  The symbol of summer.  It sustained you during hours of play time in the hot sun.  Sure you had to wait a minute for the cold water to flow but it was like sweet nectar when it finally hit your lips.  But besides it's life giving force, it was also the carrier of watery death.  It stood above all else in the war of water.

In the water wars of my youth, the hose was the weapon of choice.  Actually it was the only weapon of choice.  No fancy trigger attachments like you have today.  One's skill with the hose was measured by how well they could jam their thumb into the opening to spray a rainbow of liquid hellfire into all those who stood in it's path.  Back then tactics were simple.  Someone seized command of the hose and the rest scurried about in a desperate attempt to steal this weapon from it's owner. 

These water wars would wage for hours.  The waterlogged carnage left behind one of these battles resembled a wet Gettysburg.  Over and over we charged the hose bearer only to be repelled again and again.  "Once more into the breech, dear friends" was our battle cry.  As long as you held the hose, no one could touch you.  It was all well and good until one of your more stealthy friends managed to sneak up behind you and crimp the hose.  It was at that split second that the entire fortunes of the water war turned.  The eyes of the enemy rolled back in their heads, black as cool, like sharks that smell fresh blood.  Instantly you were bum rushed and pile driven into the grass as Excalibur was wrestled from your grasp.

History would show that the introduction of the water grenade drastically alter battle tactics.  No longer was it necessary to charge head long into a watery death.  The hose bearer was now an easy target from those with an accurate arm.  Today water warfare is more high tech and has lost much of it's original glory and gallantry.  Water cannons can engage the enemy from yards away.  Gone are the close quarter, hand to hand pitched battles that saw casualty rates at 100%.  For the water warriors of my day, it was a glorious time.  Your manhood was measured by the amount of watery death you could inflict on others.  With the hose in your hand, no man stood in your way.  You were the lord of all.  You were king!

...until mom called you for dinner....(cue playing of Taps)