Day 228: "C.I.T"

I consider myself a CIT.  No, that's not a reference to the movie "Meatballs".  It's "Christian in Training".  Shamefully I admit I keep a bit of a low profile when it comes to my faith.  It's not that I question my own beliefs.  I think it has more to do with the fact that I don't have the Christian playbook well memorized, nor can I rattle off scripture with any great accuracy but more importantly it's because I know I fall short of the expectations of a "good" Christian.

I may not go to church every Sunday but my belief in Jesus Christ and my compassion for my fellow man is no less strong as those who attend regularly.  I sing the songs quietly rather than belt them out like show tunes.  I prefer to stand in reverence rather than sway from side to side with my hands raised above me.  I typically only greet a few folks standing near me, being somewhat shy about walking up and down the pews saying hello to everyone like I'm running for office.  So in many respects I have a long way to go to consider myself a Christian, at least superficially.   

I know this is going to come off pretty judgmental but I have a hard time with the born again, bible thumpers who say one thing but do another.  To come off as if you know all their is to know about your faith, to lecture others on what they need to do, how they need to act, and yet your own behavior is contradictory to what you preach, how do you suppose that looks to those sitting on that fence, questioning the path of their own religious convictions? You say you're a forgiving person yet your behavior is one of vindictiveness when you feel the least bit slighted.  You're quick to judge the behavior of others and will share those opinions with any who will listen yet you openly indulge in vices that are diametrically oppose to your own religious tenets. 

I like to consider myself a loving and compassionate man but I'm certainly no saint and I fall short more often than I'd like to admit.  But the good things I occasionally do are done not because someone in a robe told me to nor do I do them in order to earn points towards eternal salvation.  I do them because it's the right thing to do.  I do them because they must be done.  I do them because ultimately I want that behavior to be a reflection of my best self.  It has nothing to do with anything I hope to receive.  If you're giving with an expectation of something, anything, in return then you're not giving you're actually taking.  If you seek appreciation, gratitude and praise from others for the gifts you've provided, then they are not really gifts.  Those so-called gifts are nothing more than a bill, a burden, a source of anxiety to others because you've put them in a position of having to pay you back in one way or another.  Hey, I'm all for politeness and manners.  "Please" and "thank you" need to be a regular part of everyone's vocabulary diet so make sure you take extra portions.  But consider this, and be honest here, how likely are you to do something good anonymously or when no one is watching?    

None of us are perfect.  Far from it.  It doesn't mean we can't help each other to be better versions of ourselves.  We just need to do that without assuming the role of ultimate authority.  Help those who struggle, letting them know you struggle too, and that together you'll overcome whatever obstacle is in your way.  So when you find that person trapped in that "spiritual hole", don't throw them a rope of judgment and lectures.  Instead, hop down in that hole and help lift them up.  Roll up your sleeves and get dirty!