Back on the road again. Now for those that travel little or none at all, here's a little insight into the "perks" of travel that George Clooney conveniently ignored in the movie "Up in the Air". Just a few things. I could actually write an entire book (without pictures, mind you) on the joy that is air travel.
Terminal restrooms - Now how is it that this great nation of ours was able to harness such ingenuity and intellectual power to send men to the moon yet they can't seem to create an automatic toilet flusher that can tell the difference between a person sitting down or standing up? The last thing I'm looking for when I go to the bathroom is a "surprise". You know I just recently received an affectionate little reminder from my doctor that because I've crossed over the 50 barrier I'm in line for my first ever colonoscopy. Oh goodie! (Should make for an interesting blog entry). Any who, after my wake up call in the stall, I'm thinking I'm pretty much good to go. Thanks anyway, Doc.
Food - I was chatting with my daughter the other day about the perils of travel. She commented on how disgusting it is when people bring food on the plane. Can you blame them? The alternative is to refinance your home in order to get a nice, stale packet of nuts to go along with a glass of wine that makes "Two Buck Chuck" tastes like a well aged Bordeaux. I never really thought much about folks bringing on food until today. The gal sitting next to me apparently bought her lunch from "Kung Poo House of Week Old Sushi". Not sure what was worse... the smell of her "food" or the taste of bile in my mouth. Jury is still out on that one.
Luggage - Oh, and here's a piece of legistlation I plan on pushing through. If you have "carry on" that you can't lift or carry, then check it. IT'S NOT CARRY ON! Hey, I've helped my fair share of elderly folks or Hobbit-sized women with their bags. But come on. When you have to spray your bag with cooking oil in order to squeeze it into the overhead space, also requiring a forklift to get your bag of essentials off the ground, you need to charter a shipping company to lug your crap. I'd prefer to get to where I need to go without waiting for you and your damn bags. Oh, and a side note, if you're sitting in row 23 don't store your bags above row 13! One of these days I'm going to put my good nature aside and tell the flight attendant your bag is making a ticking noise.
Now in all fairness there can be some cool experiences when traveling. As a matter of fact Gale Sayers was on my flight today. Frickin' Gale Sayers! How cool is that? The man looks like he could take a snap and bust a 60 yard run. I wanted to tell him he was great in "Brian's Song" but I wanted to respect his privacy. :-) But I did manage to throw a hellacious block on a woman in a wheelchair, clearing the way for Gale to get to his seat untouched. Of course everyone cheered even though I'm the one that made the block. Why the TSA folks got all Shawshank on me is a mystery.
But at least when I make it to my hotel room there's usually a little treat waiting for me. Looking forward to a successful and quick business trip. And if that doesn't work out, I'll load up on Mimosas on the trip back.
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