Arapaho Basin

What a day for snow boarding! And an even better day for photography. It was a pretty cold and windy day at A Basin but the snow covered mountains and puffy clouds racing across the sky made for some amazing (and challenging) photo opportunities.

'Tis the season...

... for stressful party preparations and frantic gift giving.  These are the motions we go through each year to demonstrate to others that we are “keeping” Christmas.  But even when all things are said and done, when the last gift if opened and the last morsel of food of the Christmas feast is consumed, each one of use will suffer a little pang of emptiness, a sense of a little something that’s missing.   

As I get older I’m starting to think that the little bit of emptiness we still feel is knowing we missed the mark, the “reason for the season”.  Maybe it’s me but it seems our gift giving is more about impressing rather than expressing.  We race about trying to find the latest electronic gizmo, or that name brand piece of clothing, that one special something that the other person always wanted.  

“Wanted”, maybe that’s the problem.  It’s all about wanting something.  What about needing?   Maybe that’s how we fill that void.  Give someone something they need rather than want.  I can bet you’ll find it much more gratifying, as will they.  But the trick is to know the difference between a want versus a need.  We might want our “toys” but we need something much greater.  Well, to get a jump start on next year’s shopping, here are some gift ideas…

1. Time – take the time to be present with someone.  Your parents, your children, a friend, or even a stranger.
2.  Patience – be slow to react. Allow things to play out before you and keep a balance of your emotions.
3. Encouragement – help someone to discover their own hidden talents and show them their worth.
4.  Love – whether you write, call or visit, let someone know how much you care and that you are a richer person for having them in your life. 

Those are just a few.  I’m sure you can come up with more.  

As Christ was and is God’s gift to us all, may we all be a gift to each other this day and always.  Merry Christmas and God’s blessings to you all.

Best Intentions...

Sometimes good ideas just don't pan out.  We're currently on vacation in Breckenridge and stopped in Frisco for some essentials.  We drove by Dillon lake and I decided I wanted to get a picture.  I loved how the mountains and the sky looked and the lake was partially frozen so I was hoping I might be able to capture something special.

We parked by the marina and my wife and daughter wisely stayed in the car while I made my way out to the "right spot" to take pictures.  There was some clutter all around the pier so I decided to venture out a bit onto what looked like snow and dirt where the waters of the lake had receded.  Wearing my trusty Gortex laced Merrills, I started out over patches of snow, ice and dirt.  Unfortunately those patches of snow were really very thin layers resting on top of about a foot or so of Rockie Mountain mud.  Ok, so perhaps this wasn't one of those "times that try men's souls" but I wasn't about to be denied a great picture because of ankle deep mud.

After hopping, skipping and jumping to a dry spot I finally got to my perfect destination.  I quickly got off some shots from a couple different angles.  I tried getting several multiple low angel shots, at different exposures so I could practice with my HDR.  I didn't want to spend too much time there because I figured the women folk would be getting antsy.  Confident I got what I wanted, I headed back to the car, scraping and dragging my feet through fresh snow in an attempt to remove all the mud.

Well, long story short (I know, too late), we got back to the room and I immediately began processing my pics.  To my dismay I failed to ensure that I had taken multiple pictures, not just at different exposures but also at different focus points.  All the low angle shots had out of focus foregrounds.  So for all that effort and perseverance, I was only able to manage the pano you see above.  I don't think it's entirely a bad picture but it wasn't exactly what I was hoping for.

So I guess we just need to make the best of a situation.  And even though we try to overcome obstacles in life, things may not always turn out as we had hoped.  Even the greatest ball players strike out from time to time.  That's no reason to quit.  There's always next time.  :-)

Southern California Sunset...

I would never presume to think I could possibly capture the magnificence of a California sunset but I hope what I've shared provides just an inkling of how beautiful those sunsets really are.  Now don't get me wrong, I love living in Colorado and feel quite at home among the majestic mountains but there's something about California sunsets that goes beyond words.  I can sit for hours just looking out over the ocean, watching the sun slowly sink below the horizon and feel completely at peace.  God has an amazing way to make you feel so small compared to the grandeur of nature and yet so much a part of it all.  What a blessing...

Taking the High Road...

I sometimes wonder at what point, when we aspire to "take the high road", does integrity become shame?  Hey folks, I don't pretend to know the answer.  That's why I'm asking.  As far back as our childhood we've been challenged with "taking the high road", to be a better person, when we feel that things are working against us.  Kinda goes back to the whole "turn the other cheek" thing.  How many times do we have to be slapped in the face until we decide to say "enough"?

I really don't know the answer.  There are times when I think I'm "taking the high road", avoiding confrontation, trying not to sink to someone else's level.  After a while I feel this imbalance inside me.  I can only attribute it to a conflict I feel between my desire to turn my back on another person's misplaced aggression and my need to maintain my personal integrity.  I know myself well enough that my knee-jerk reaction is to pop someone when they've hurt me and I've spent years trying to overcome that.  But, man, there are times, after taking so many punches to the chin that I have to say enough is enough!  Remember that classic line from "The Untouchables"?  "They pull a knife, you pull a gun.  They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue."  LOVE it and in most cases I tend to live it.  I know, I know, I'm working on that. 

Sorry folks, no sage advice here.  I think that answer will be different for each of us.  I just know it's something I need to think about and pray about when the situations arise.  There are so many questions I have for God but to be honest, if he only answered one, I think this would be it. 

Lord, help me find that high road...

Focus...

I was originally planning a rant on the comings and goings of Kim Kardashian and similar media whores, the entertainment moguls who promote them (thank you Ryan Seacrest) and the mindless millions that deify their virtual existence.  But recent events have steered my ship of discontent towards calmer waters. 

I was incredibly fortunate this past week to meet a long lost uncle and cousin I never knew existed until about a year ago.  On the heals of that event, I had an epiphany in regards to the wonderful people in my life who have provided inspiration, strength, compassion, love and friendship.  It really got me thinking, "why the hell do I want to dwell on the life of an insignificant, misguided person when I have such gifts in the family and friendships I have?"  And for that matter, why would I care about the drama and pettiness that exists much closer to me in my day to day life?  It's amazing how easy it is to lose focus on what's important in our lives. 

Maybe I'm rehashing old ideas from previous rants but this is something that bears repeating.  I have an incredibly large and wonderful family.  I have my Colorado and Nevada family.  My Portland and California family.  My Idaho and Montana family.  There's also my 14er family, my Brat family, my Facebook family and even my Texas family.  There are so many more folks that make up my circle of influences.  When I sit and meditate on it, it's incredible to realize how vast it is.  There are folks I've known for years, those I've known for months, even those I've only met once, yet they all are treasures in my life.  For all the random crap that makes up my day, it doesn't remotely measure up to all the gifts I have in the people in my life. 

I apologize to not only you, my dear friends, but to myself, for allowing myself from time to time, to slip into this coma of down right mean-spirited pettiness and resentment.  I truly need to keep the "eye on the prize" when it comes to how I embrace each and every day.  I have so much to be thankful for and so much to rejoice over. 

Here's to all of you, my family!

Reminds me...

 

Ok, I have to admit, I had seen a similar picture of the one above and it blew me away so I wanted to see if I could do the same thing.  Whenever I learn something new, my go-to technique has always been to copy someone else.  I try to see if I can follow the same steps they took and see if I can come close to replicating what they've done.   If I can get close, my next step is to tweak whatever steps I took, to modify the process so that I could call the end result my own.  

It was funny, when I was taking this picture today, I had to lie flat on my back and point my camera straight up through  a grove of beautiful Aspen trees.  The funny thing about it was as I was doing this, I immediately had a memory of living in Hawaii as a small boy, lying on cool, green grass, staring up at this magnificent blue sky.  To this day I'm not sure I've seen a sky so blue.  I actually laid there for a while, just enjoying the view, comparing it to my childhood memory.  Even as I started to notice that I had a bunch of prickly branches, weeds and leaves poking me in the back, I really didn't care.  It seemed that for once in a long time I actually took a moment to show some child-like appreciation for my surroundings.  

Sometimes I miss my youth.  Not that I want to relive anything.  But I do miss the simple, carefree moments of life.  Perhaps today's experience was God's way of keeping me a little young at heart.  I hope He does the same for you...

You've Had a Wonderful Life...

Listen to me, this is REALLY important.... Are you ready?  Ok, here goes...We are ALL George Bailey!  What's that you say, John?  Has the bar opened a little earlier than usual?  Nope, afraid not.  Just stating a clear and honest truth.  All of us, no matter what our upbringing, no matter what our personal experiences, we've all had a wonderful life.  Some of you will nod "yes" and close out this blog.  See you next time.  Now, for the rest of you that think I'm full of an excessive amount of shit, I'm willing to go to the mats on this one. 

Now, I'll admit, comparatively speaking my life has been pretty ok these past 49 years.  Sure, I've been divorced, had some financial troubles, some emotional set backs, as well as family drama, whatever.  Yes, I've even considered suicide on two separate occasions in my life.  Blah, blah, blah.  But it's also true I've never experienced the death of a loved one, never personally experienced a violent act of aggression against me.  But I do have my share of emotional baggage, some of it carry on, some of it I checked at the counter.  But you know what?  I've survived all that bullshit.  And you know something else?  If you're reading this, you've survived YOUR bullshit as well.  You've overcome.  You've persevered.  Whether you think so or not, there's a part of you, that survivor, that overcame ALL that garbage that nearly destroyed you. And look who you have become?  This amazing, wonderful, inspirational person that we love, respect and admire.  More so than you could POSSIBLY imagine. 

This is probably the part where I lose all you cynics. I imagine many of you are choking on the "wonderful, inspirational..." part but whether you believe it or not, you are all those things and more.  Many people have come before you, have been faced with the same hardships you've faced and gave up.  They're gone.  They packed it in.  But not you!  You survived.  Something inside you said "NOT today".  That's why you're here now, reading this.  That alone is enough to earn my respect and admiration.  You may not feel like a hero but you are.  For all those who survived hardships in life, you've inspired others to endure theirs.  Remember the line from the movie?  "Harry didn't save the men on that transport because you weren't there to save Harry."  If you weren't here now, how would others be inspired to endure the hardships of life as you have? 

So, whether you believe it or not, you've had a wonderful life.  Your ability to survive and grow from life's experiences has cleared a path for the rest of us to follow.  Your spirit and your strength feeds the rest of us on our journey through life.  My love, thanks and admiration are yours, always...

Daughters...

I think daughters are God’s promise that life will always be filled with new and exciting discoveries of joy.  For every moment I think I’ve seen or experienced it all, my beautiful Sam shows me something new and wonderful.  I certainly can’t take credit for the woman she has become but I thank God that he’s given me a front row seat to her beautiful story that plays out before me each and every day.  For all daughters young and old, please know that you own the heart of your father, no matter where he is.  And for you, fathers, cherish the blessing that God has provided you with his most precious angel.

"Old School"

Yesterday my daughter Samantha and I went "antiquing".  I love all the old stuff you come across.  I feel like I've traveled back in time, visiting my grandparents house.  When I look at all those things I can't help but wonder what history lies within them...

 

A Second Chance?

Well, I think I've settled down a bit after my flair up over the Facebook fiasco.  I actually feel kinda bad because it turned out several friends thought I had "unfriended" them when they tried to respond to that bogus notification and found I wasn't in their friend list any more.  Think it's time to mend some bridges...

I'm still pretty frustrated with Facebook but perhaps a second chance might be in order.  I have to admit I do like the fundamental objective of Facebook which is to keep us connected with our family and friends.  Maybe Zuckie needs to reign in his engineers and let the site just do it's thing.  Most of us are pretty simple folks and all we want is a simple way of keeping tabs on those in our lives.  Engineers and software developers are notorious for wanting to constantly tweak or change things.  Do us all a favor and take a break, boys!   If you're bored, go play Dungeons and Dragons or whatever you kids play these days.

I'm in Oregon this weekend visiting my beautiful daughter Samantha.  I've missed her so much.  Had a great dinner last night.  I can't get over how grown up she is and what a wonderful women she's turned into.  I'm so proud of her!  I think today we'll go have breakfast and then go hit the grocery store, Target, Kohls, etc.  She just moved into her new apartment and is in need of some essentials.

Have a wonderful day, my friends.  Be safe and God bless!

Facebook can bite me...

Yes, that's right, I've dumped my Facebook account.  I guess I've been a bit frustrated with the site for some time and the recent site changes and the unfortunate "Oops" have pushed me to the point of saying "to hell with you, Zuckerberg!"

Over the last several months so much random crap began to flood my page that in an attempt to clean things up I tried to filter on the activities of my close friends and family.  Somehow, in Facebook's infinite wisdom, this filtering process actually turned out to be a broadcast message to dozens of people, asking them if they wanted to be a part of my "family".  What the hell?  Really?  Not only was it a little bit embarrassing, it's just plain stupid.  Why on earth would you create something like a family list invite?  I think I know who my family members are.  I don't need to "invite" them to any frickin' list.  And oh, by they way Zuckie, when it comes to how I manage my personal account, that's really no one's business but my own. Any changes I make to who I communicate with or how I want to view the activities of my friends doesn't warrant an announcement to the world.  But, hey, we all know privacy and security have never been a point of emphasis for you and your script kiddies. 

Once again it's been proven that the measure of a man is NOT based on the size of his wallet.  No matter how much money you have, Mark, you're still a POS...

Post script - Don't worry folks, there are still things such as email, phone calls, letters and random positive thoughts.  You can reach me through any of those means as well as my SmugMug site.  :-)

Cheers!

Power of a Puppy...

Do you think these little guys have any idea how they make us feel when we look at them?  Imagine if we had that power...

A Day of 14ers...

As you probably noticed from the previous blog, I recently had the opportunity to hike a 14er.  Actually I had the opportunity to hike four of them - Democrat, Cameron (unrated 14er), Lincoln and Bross. This one, on the right, was taken from the top of Mt. Democrat.  That little pipe you see at the bottom of the picture is the tube that holds the register so hikers can "sign in", letting the world know they were there.  The picture below was taken from atop Cameron, looking towards Mt. Lincoln.  The bottom right picture was taken from Lincoln, looking back towards Democrat.  What a blessing to be able to experience so much beauty.  It morethan makes up for the incredible soreness in my legs.  :-)

You should join me some time...

 

"I Lift Up My Eyes to the Mountains..."

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
   where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.

 He will not let your foot slip—
   he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.

 The LORD watches over you—
   the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
   nor the moon by night.

 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
   he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
   both now and forevermore."

Psalm 121

I had the good fortune to be able to hike several 14ers today and enjoy all the splendor around me.  The summit, above, is Lincoln.  It was one of four that I was able to hike.  My mom inspired the passage and it sums up much of how I feel when I'm out enjoying God's country... 

Tranquility...

I was originally hoping to find a nice poem to go along with these pictures but nothing really inspired me.  We all have our own definition of tranquility.  For me, it's the early morning mountains, the peaceful calm before the rest of the world wakes up.  The combination of the gentle sounds of nature, the beating of my heart, the steady panting of my dog and the rocks under my shoes.... it's just tranquil.  I pray everyone can find moments of peace...

My Other Dogs...

Contrary to popular belief (and I've helped perpetuate the notion), I do like my other dogs.  Yes, Sophie gets most of my attention but these other two rug rats are pretty special, too.  They just drive me nuts some times...

Roscoe "The King"

Belle "The Queen"

 

All hail the King and Queen!!

Decisions, Decisions...

It never ceases to amaze me how difficult it is for folks to make a decision.  Growing up I never thought of decision making as being all that difficult but I'm blown away by the number of people I've encountered who can't decide, ANY THING!

Ok, let’s level set… what do I mean by “decision”?  You take whatever available facts you have and choose a course of action.  Simple enough.  Now, that doesn't mean, later on down the road, in hind sight, that the decision you made was necessarily the best.  Circumstances may reveal that the original decision may have been less than optimal.  Hey, we can all play Monday morning quarterback.  But you need to understand that the decision was probably the best decision at that time.  As long as you're comfortable with that fact then you have nothing to worry about.  Let the chips fall where they may.

I think the real problem with decision making is that in our culture we reward those that blame rather than praise those that take the risk to lead.  Turn on the TV and I can guarantee you there will be a news bite of one politician blaming another for a choice that was made.  Very few politicians will stand up for a particular cause, but they are more than happy to point out the failures of someone else’s.  I bet all of you can find similar examples in your own professional or personal lives.  

Too many people can’t help but second-guess themselves and others.  Some folks actually take second-guessing to a whole new art form.  It's a destructive habit.  Now I know I'm not the smartest guy in the world.  Yes, I can hear the collective voices of hundreds of people saying "DUHHH!"  But I do think I have a fair amount of common sense and given enough of the pertinent facts, I feel I can make a pretty sound decision.  I think the difference between me and the second-guessers is that I’m not going to waste a lot of energy on “what if’s”.  It’s too exhausting.  I think it really boils down to the fact that many people are afraid of making the wrong choice.  They’re afraid they’ll look stupid in front of others, or they’ll be looked upon as a failure.  I’d rather be deemed a failure for my choices then to live in fear of making any.

Every decision has a potential benefit and risk.  You need to ask yourself one, simple question, “Can I live with the possible outcome of this decision, good or bad?”  If your answer is “yes” then make the decision and move on.  Action closed.  Enough said. I have much more respect for the average Joe who’s willing to step up and make the tough choice, and possibly fail, than for the so called “intellectual giant” whose verbose vocabulary is inversely proportionate to his ability to make a decision.

It takes some courage and confidence in oneself to make decisions, especially ones where little information is available.  It disappoints me that the higher up the corporate food chain you go, the fewer folks you find that are willing to make the tough choices.  I can't tell you how many times I've witnessed senior managers and executives literally turn their backs on an issue because they lacked, from my perspective, the intestinal fortitude to make a decision.  I suspect that seven figure income had something to do with it.  

So do us all a favor and just make a decision and move on.  As you move down the road, make another decision and move on from there.  That’s what life is all about.  There is no one path in life but many paths.  Just choose.  Don’t be afraid.  Enjoy the path you’re on and look forward to that next fork in the road.  Don’t fret on your previous decisions.  They are over and done.  Wouldn’t you rather look ahead to the next opportunity instead of looking back and wondering “what if”?  Personally, I’ve lived my life, no sense in reliving it by second-guessing my choices.  It certainly won’t change anything.  The only thing I can change is the path I’m on, but I have to decide to do that.  

If none of what I said makes any sense, then please heed these simple words of wisdom….

"Shit or get off the pot!"  

Westminster in the Morning...

I think this tends to be my "go to" spot for quick, early morning pictures.  I love the old, dead trees and the dramatic clouds that frame them.  I know these aren't the most grand pictures but I will say the most interesting part of this mini-photo shoot was being serenaded by a few coyotes that were in pretty close proximity to me.  Good thing I didn't bring Sophie with me...

"There Goes My Life..."

"All he could think about was I'm too young for this.
Got my whole life ahead.
Hell I'm just a kid myself.
How'm I gonna raise one.

All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.
Oh well, those plans are long gone.

[Chorus:]
And he said,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
Might as well kiss it all good-bye.
There goes my life.......

A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later.
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator.
Oh yeah..........he loves that little girl.

Momma's waiting to tuck her in,
As she fumbles up those stairs.
She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear.
Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls.

[Chorus:]
He smiles.....
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
I love you, daddy good-night.
There goes my life.

She had that Honda loaded down.
With Abercrombie clothes and 15 pairs of shoes and his American Express.
He checked the oil and slammed the hood, said you're good to go.
She hugged them both and headed off to the West Coast.

[Chorus:]
And he cried,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
I love you.
Baby good-bye.

There goes my life.
There goes my life.
Baby good-bye."

Thank you, Kenny!

Song by Kenny Chesney

Amy...

This beautiful young woman is Amy.  She's a friend of ours who was generous enough to give me an opportunity to photograph her above Boulder at Artist's Point.  Besides being a natural beauty, she's an incredibly gifted photographer.  She's just kicking off her photography business so please look her up on Facebook at Amy Corinne Photography (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Amy-Corinne-Photography/156105397801437).

Garden Flowers...

Bucket List...

I'd like to break down my list into two categories...

Do-able...

1. Take my girls to Munich, Germany, to experience the Oktoberfest.  There's nothing like it in the world...
2. Be a ball boy for a Giants home game...
3. Ski one more time in Austria...
4. Have the theme from "Shaft" play when I walk into a room (ok, I'll call this a stretch goal)...
5. Shake hands with Joe Montana...
6. Parachute from an airplane.  (Was going to say "jump from.." but figured I needed to be specific)...
7. See a bear in the wild...
8. Tour Napa Valley (NOT as designated driver)...
9. Go to a real Juke Joint to listen to some serious, dirty blues (Mississippi or Tennessee)...
10. Be a grandfather...

Not Likely...

1. Save a life...
2. Win the lottery...
3. Write a best selling book...
4. Invent the self-cooling pillow...
5. Catch the game winning home run ball by the SF Giants, beating the Dodgers...
6. To live long enough to see the big money people behind our political figures step forward and admit they've driven this country into the ground for purely selfish reasons (let's be honest, our politicians aren't smart enough to do that on their own)...
7. Be able to retire before I die...
8. Learn to play the guitar solo to Metallica's "Enter Sandman"...
9. My dog, Sophie, outlives me...
10. Win an argument with a woman...

"..And miles to go before I sleep..."

"Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening"  By Robert Frost

I read this poem many years ago when I was a boy and it's stuck with me for years.  I actually use to think about it while I was out running along the Coast Highway, long before the sun came up, preparing for some big race. 

So many miles to go... 

Street Musicians...

A "River" ran through it...

  

This handsome little man is River.  We had the wonderful opportunity to photograph him and his brother, Mason, yesterday at a local park.  He really is adorable beyond words.  Other than the five minute break to go chase down River and Mason, which included a romp through the bushes and a dip in the pond, the two were absolutely wonderful.  Besides, who could be mad at a face like that?  More photos to come from K9 Pawtography...

Denver PM...

Late yesterday we went down to Denver to take some sunset and evening pictures.  The sunset ones didn't quite turn out as we had planned.  Again, mother nature calling the shots.  But when the sun went down, we did get some long exposure pictures of different parts of downtown.  Always fun to try something new...

Guilty Pleasures...

 
We've all got 'em and we're not likely to admit to it but I figured, what the heck.  As I get older I'm caring less what people think of me so here's my list of "guilty pleasures"...

1. Chick films - Yeah, I like my fair share but in my defense I do have discriminating tastes.  No Miley Cyrus films, nothing from the Oxygen or Lifetime channels.  But give me "Devil Wears Prada" (Anne Hathaway!), "Bridges of Madison County" (Clint Eastwood starred and directed plus composed the musical score, enough said), or "Twilight" (the first one, although the Belle character really grates on me).
2. Barry Manilow - Yep, I'm a huge closet Manilow fan.  I will say that at one point I tried to justify it by pointing out that he looked somewhat like Joe Montana, but that was a LONG time ago.  
3. Abba, Bee Gees, Heatwave and assorted other disco bands - Yeah, they're cheesy but you have to admit, whenever a DJ wants to get people dancing, they'll inevitably turn to the disco favorites to get the party started. 
4. Mimosas - I wouldn't normally consider this a guilty pleasure but when I was told by a gay man that mimosas are considered an "effeminate" drink I had to reconsider whether I wanted to share my liking of the drink with others.
5. Bubble baths - Now before you judge, I don't gay it up by adding in candles nor the aforementioned Barry Manilow.  I don't know, there's just something very relaxing about bubbles. 
6. "Lost" series finale - I've actually watched that episode a dozen times through Netflix.  I know most of you didn't follow the series and those that did, many of you HATED the finale.  For me it answered all the questions that needed to be answered but more importantly, all those scenes where the characters discovered their other "existence".... I still tear up when Jack touches his dad's coffin.  
7. People watching - I'm still fascinated by people and for whatever reason I just like watching folks walk by, attending to their day.  In this day and age I need to be careful when doing this.  There's always going to be someone that will assume I'm some pedophile or serial killer.  
8. Costumes - Especially historical stuff.  I love hats even though I don't look all that good in them.  I actually like Halloween and wouldn't mind dressing up for it.  Just never seems to happen.  But NO cross-dressing.  Yes, there are some pictures out there to the contrary but those should pretty much be buried, I hope.
9. Facials - I've had a couple in my life and, MAN, are they awesome.  If you haven't had one you are so missing out.
10. HUGE bowls of ice cream - Chocolate!!  No bowl is too big.  No chocolate is too dark.  I can never get enough.

 I'm sure there are more....

"Still Waters..."

I seem to travel a lot with my job but it's nice when an unexpected surprise reveals itself.  There is this pond along a small, two lane road in Medford, MA, that is absolutely tranquil.  I've driven by it several times but the other day I finally decided to pull over and snap this picture.  I only had my camera phone but hopefully I was able to capture the near pristine natural mirror the water created.  If it wasn't for the speeding cars and mosquitos I probably would've hung out there a lot longer...

"The Unlovables..."

This particular blog was inspired by a dear friend of mine and it got me thinking…

What are the “terms and conditions” for loving someone?  Now before I proceed, I’m using the word “love” as a means of expressing some level of compassion, appreciation, respect, and/or affection towards another.  It’s not intended to be all “running through misty meadows, holding hands, in love with you” love.  In simple terms, just think of it as doing something good for another.    

Sitting with a friend in the hospital, helping someone with their luggage or allowing someone to go ahead of us at the checkout counter, they are all expressions of affection that many of us are quick to share with others.  Expressing our love and generosity with those receptive to the gesture is rather easy.  I mean think about it, when was the last time you saw a really person walk out of a Christmas sermon that wouldn’t shake your hand or say “Merry Christmas”?   Loving the lovable feels pretty good and it really doesn’t take a lot of effort.      

Now, what about those who aren’t so receptive?  The ones that bristle at the mere hint of a kind expression.  Or worse, what about those that actually attack you when you do reach out in an expression of love?  What then?  Now keep in mind, these are folks that NEED love in their lives. 

So, for those folks in desperate need of love, how do we “embrace” them without getting figuratively, or worse, literally, slapped in the face?  “Tough love” is the standard answer.  I think we’ve all heard that one before.  It’s usually within the context of dealing with a teenager.  Confrontational, wild mood swings, hurtful language, constant bickering and complaining.  If you’ve ever raised a teenager then you know what I’m talking about.  Many teenagers simply take on the ugly persona of something we scarcely recognize.  Thank goodness that tends to be temporary. 

But what about the other folks?  The sibling, parent or friend or even the stranger that lashes out on you with unprovoked fury.  These folks are incredibly hurtful and they are more than willing to let you experience their rage.  How do we approach such people?  Engaging a hurtful person is much like trying to save someone from drowning.  All lifeguards will tell you that when trying to save a drowning person you have to be careful not to get yourself pulled under by the victim.  That’s very much the same thing when dealing with a hurtful person.   You need to find a way to reach out to them without being pulled under by their anger.   

A piece of advice:  Resist the temptation to engage in emotional combat.  You need to detach yourself from the person they think they’re attacking.  You may need to make hard decisions that affect this person because you know it’s the right thing to do.  And trust me, they will let you know what they think of your actions.  They will accuse you of everything you’re not.  “You don’t care about me!”  “You’re so damn selfish, you’re only thinking about yourself!”  “If you loved me you wouldn’t do this!”  Any of those sound familiar? 

The last thing you need to do is become emotionally charged over the decisions you’ve made in dealing with this person.  First and foremost, acknowledge to yourself that you truly love this person and that every decision you make regarding them comes from a foundation of love.  From there it’s really just a matter of weathering the emotional storm that gets hurled upon you.  Remember, this person is attacking an image of you, a perception of you.  You are that lightening rod for all things that are poisoning this person’s life. 

If you can honestly say that everything you’ve done was out of love for this person, then there’s no reason to feel regret or to second guess your actions.   The venom that comes from their words and deeds, again, is just a manifestation of everything that they feel is wrong in their life and they need to lash out.   You also need to understand that most likely YOU are the only one that’s actually reaching out to them.  YOU are the only one that’s really showing them love.  I guarantee that somewhere down the road this person will acknowledge your efforts and will love and appreciate you more than you could possibly know because YOU were the only one who was there for them when they needed it most.  Maybe not now or next year.  Maybe not in your lifetime or theirs, but some day, all truth will be known. 

Folks, I know it’s hard.  It really is.  But think about this, would you rather be able to say “I tried” or could you live with “I wish I tried”?

Ok, group hug!!

"Circle the Wagons..."

You know I was never much of a fan of the old western movies.  I guess even back then I had issues with Indians being portrayed as the bad guys when they were the ones being run off their own land.  But politics aside, there is one thing that resonated with me from these movies, especially as I got older.  It seemed most movies always had a scene where a caravan of settlers would get ambushed by the locals and in response they would quickly circle their wagons to provide protection as they fought off the assault.   As I grew up, “circling the wagons” became a metaphor for how I dealt with life’s hardships. 

When you think about it, our lives become a collection of details.  I would argue that we build that pile of details to such a point to where we start to lose our identity.   Now I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, John, I think I know my own name.”  That’s not what I mean.  We spend our lives collecting labels and things to create an image of who we think we are.  Father, Mother, friend, co-worker, chairman, student, program manager, Den Mother, executive, marathoner, photographer, Book Club President, Sales Rep, Club President, etc.  We collect cars, clothes, homes, money, pets, trinkets, etc.  It’s a never ending list of things we are, things we have.  And over time we apply so much importance to them that they become a vital part of our own existence. 

Now I’m not saying that doing any of this is necessarily a bad thing but when it starts to cloud our perception of ourselves then we’ve got a problem.  I can tell you that each and every one of us has had moments in our lives where we’ve been “attacked” across many of these details of our lives, to where we’ve felt surrounded and helpless.  Perhaps our position at work has become tenuous, or maybe we’re struggling with finances.  That expensive car is in the shop or we can’t afford that luxury vacation we planned.  Whatever it might be, the point is we become fearful when the things we have in life are in jeopardy of being lost. 

Moments like these I say, “Circle the wagons!”  Bring in close those things that truly are important to you and keep them near and dear to your heart and let those other “details” fall where they may.  Beyond the love of family and friends, what more do we really need?  Sure, a source of income to sustain our lives is pretty important but that’s a relatively easy thing to do when we decide to simplify our lives and remove some of the details that compel us to want more and to live beyond our means. 

Simplifying our lives by surrounding ourselves with people and things that bring real joy is what should matter most to us.  So forget the expensive trip.  Stay home and play Scrabble with some close friends.  Take your kid out for ice cream and listen to them ramble on about their day instead of giving them money to get out of your hair.  Skip a day of marathon training and take a drive with your spouse to an unexplored part of town.  Clubs will get along just fine without you.  Work will be there for you.  Life will always continue.

So the next time you feel ambushed, just tell yourself, “Circle the wagons”.  And hopefully that will be your cue to pull close to you all that brings joy to your life…

Just take it in....

I thank God for the moments when He tells me to just shut up, stop worrying and just gaze upon the beauty He's created.  Moments like this I think "what lottery did I just win?"

"Be still..."

... and know that I am God".

For those that know me I'm not prone to quoting scripture but this one is my favorite and speaks to me like no other.  I actually had to Google it to find the reference (Psalm 46:10).  Every day we all face some storm, some hardship, some obstacle that produces a level of anxiety, fear or panic that in some cases seems almost insurmountable.  How often do we scramble to find the answer, the riddle to our problems?  We look for some complex set of instructions that will solve our issues related to love, friendship, family, money or whatever. We try desperately to figure out what we must do to solve our problems. We're usually never short on advice.  So many folks are quick to tell you what you must to and how to do it.  Even that can become somewhat maddening and will most certainly add to your despair. 

But you know what I love about this Psalm?  It's so simple yet so incredibly powerful!   It's the trump card for every crapping thing that happens to us.  No magic prayers, no special deeds... just one simple thing... "be still".  Just be still and know that God is with you.  A simple act of faith.  Again, no posturing, no "thine-ing" or "thus-ing", no running off to perform unselfish deeds in order to earn one back (unselfish?).  Just...Be...Still....

So when that next storm comes and we fear for ourselves or those close to us, perhaps we could first pause for a moment, be still, and reflect on the fact that God is with us and through Him ALL things are possible.  Allow that reality to sink in first and then go about the business of healing.

And don't forget your umbrella....

What is my path?

...where am I to go?

...what will I find?

...who will I meet?

...when will I get there?

...how will I know?

Dear Lord, regardless of the answers, please let me enjoy the journey...