Turn the other cheek...

Ok, I get it now. Hell, after 48 years it finally came to me (while in the shower, of all places). It use to bug me how the minister would rant on and on about "turning the other cheek" when wronged by someone else. The theme here was essentially to take it like a man, don't fight back. Just be a good boy and let things happen as they may. Bull shit! Slap me in the face and the first thing I want to do is punch you, twice as hard. What the hell did I do to you? And, oh, by the way, you'll think twice before you cross me again, you fucker!

But I just realized, for all these years, I've looked at this "turn the other cheek" thing from a purely selfish point of view. It was all about me, how I dealt with being the victim, how I was wronged and the only way to gain some level of salvation or some small amount of vindication was to be the bigger man. I had to just roll with the punches because that's what Jesus did. I would feel better in the long run. Yeah, and I've got a bridge for sale.

I get it now. I finally understand that the victim wasn't me. It was HIM! The guy/gal that was hurting me. They needed or wanted something from me, to gratify themselves, to fill some void that they desperately needed filling. They needed to exact something from me that would fill this hole in them. It would make them complete, better, stronger, happier. And it's funny. Even after they got their pound of flesh, nothing changed. They still attacked me as they did every one else they encounter. As if they couldn't fill that hole. Hmm, interesting...

Now come on, people. You know folks like that. The assholes of our lives that just seem to get under our skin all the time. Don't you think if they found what they needed they would eventually let up? Well obviously they haven't found it yet because they're still pissing you off and you still talk badly about them to your friends and family. Imagine a life where all you did was piss people off? What a sad, pathetic, lonely life you must have if all you could do is take from someone else. And when I say "take" I don't mean steal, like a car or some other physical possession. We take people's time, attention, emotions, feelings, beliefs, direction, perceptions... all the things that make up who we are. When we whine to someone about something, complain about another person, berate someone in a meeting, take credit for something we didn't do, or put ourselves above someone else just to receive some level of recognition from another, we become that asshole that everyone else talks about.

Christ, or whoever you believe in, wasn't saying, "take it like a man". What He was saying was the more you fight someone over what they try to take from you, the more you validate his wanting to take from you. When you put up a fight you let that aggressor know that, yes, there's some value to be gained from attacking me. Yes, I know all you history majors are saying, "Hey, Neville Chamberlain, that didn't work with Hitler". Certainly the health and welfare of our loved ones must be protected. But think of all the things you go to war over every single day. The guy that took your parking spot. The person in line at Starbucks that can't decide what to order. Your boss who has no clue about what you do or how well you do it. We piss and moan and argue over all these things. Really, were those things all that important?

The person that attacks you is a lost soul. If they truly understood their relationship to you, to earth, to God, they'd realized this fighting is absurd. Fighting over these things is like fighting with yourself. Each and all of us is a unique and wonderful expression of a collective whole that makes up this world we live in. Those that "oppose" us are just an alternative expression of us. No right or wrong, just different, unique, special. When you find out who you really are, and I mean REALLY are, the issues, or battles, become meaningless.

Turning the other cheek means giving that other person an opportunity to discover that what they are fighting for has no meaning and contains no reward. Each time you turn that cheek you give them another opportunity to realize how futile their efforts are and you lead them on the path of self-discovery. By doing that we all become the victors.