I remember hearing some time ago that the thing we truly fear most in life is something we've already experienced. I don't know, for some reason I thought that seemed so profound, especially since it's true.
I think when you ask someone what they fear, they tend to go right to the dramatic - drowning, being burned alive, attacked by a shark, etc. Sure, those are all pretty scary things but they tend to scare us mostly because we have no idea what those experiences might be like, with the exception of those few folks that have actually survived a shark attack. You ask someone who's been through Airborne school which jump was the scariest, most will say it was the second jump. Reason being is because they know EXACTLY what to expect. Sure, preparing for that first jump is a bit nerve racking until you jump out of that plane. Then you know what real terror is. It's those things that we've actually experienced that bring the most fear into our hearts and minds.
For me, the thing I fear most is letting someone down, and unfortunately I've done that more times than I can count, especially to the ones I love most. This fear goes all the way back to my childhood. Letting down my parents (getting in trouble at school), letting down my team mates (almost losing the Bitburg game), up through my adult life - at work, family. It's the most sickening feeling I've ever had. Once you've let someone down it's like this huge mountain is placed before you. A mountain of trust that you have to conquer in hopes that the person you let down would trust you and depend on you again.
I guess the key in life is to accept your fears but don't live within them. Acknowledge that they are there but don't let them decide how you live your life. I suspect there will be more opportunities for me to be confronted with my fears but when those times come, Lord, please grant me the grace, humility, strength and love to overcome them.
Amen...
